When we went through the process of buying a house, we actually ignored (what became) our home on the listings at first. It’s on a major road in Dallas (6 lane boulevard that gets traffic at all hours of the day and night) and we thought that was a deal breaker. After looking at probably 15 houses that had managed to mask their fatal flaws to some degree in their online listings (let’s just say I will never buy a home formerly owned by a cat person, or a fraternity) we decided that we might as well check it out. And we were pleasantly surprised – the insulation is really, really good. You can hear light traffic noise in the front rooms, but it’s actually kind of soothing. Sometimes when I take a nap I purposely nap on the couch in our front living room because the whooshing of the cars lulls me to sleep.
The one big BUT (no, not my butt) is this little spot in one of the lanes that inexplicably drops 4-5 inches. For some reason, every 18-wheeler that has any purpose of driving through our neighborhood is inevitably in that lane, and when they hit it, the windows rattle. The dogs bark. The house vibrates. The first time it happened, I thought the ceiling might fall in.
At this point, Richie would probably like me to remind you that I tend to exaggerate. But I am being 100% truthful about the windows shaking and the dogs barking. Maybe not so much on the caving-in ceiling.
Anyway, after about a year of silently fuming every time my sleep was disrupted in such a manner, I came across the City of Dallas’ website for pothole complaints. How does one stumble across such a page? I was researching how to get my neighbors fined for failing to mow their lawn for 9 months (if I went into the details of that, we’d be here all night). Anyway, turns out the city has a fairly thorough website for reporting irritating things like dips in concrete. And, apparently the city has not yet learned about my talents for hyperbole, because less than 6 weeks after reporting the “massively jarring effect of the dip in the roadway which causes the dogs of the entire neighborhood to bark ceaselessly” (yes, that is a direct quote from my submission) they are FIXING IT!
Except, here’s the fun part: the machines that they are using to fix the problem… cause the windows to shake… cause the house to vibrate… and they really do cause the dogs of the entire neighborhood to bark ceaselessly, because the workers are there ALL DAY.
So, yeah. Be careful what you wish for.